BiG TeA PaRtY

ClOtHiNg SwAp

by VaLerie K

Guess what! BiG TeA PaRtY, always ahead of the curve, already has a video about clothing swaps on our compilation tape OOLONG. Click HERE to see “All Girls Clothes Swap”, hosted of course by ELIZABETH FIEND, shot by me, VaLerie K as guest cameraperson.

Check it: there are handy tips at the end of this article for having a successful clothing swap of your own. Host a swap and report back, ok? Now, on to the article….

Clothing swaps. Not to BRAG or anything, but I think I was the first to host a clothing swap in my crowd of girlfriends back in 1988 or so. 20 years later, we are still doing it. We just had a clothes swap last weekend. We do it, oh, about twice a year, usually when the one of us who has been itching to purge their closet the longest can’t stand it anymore.

What exactly is a clothing swap?

I searched Wikipedia for ‘clothing swap’ and sure enough, there was a definition right there. I surfed around and found many sites and posts, and though there are variations, the gist is the same everywhere.

A group of people gets together.

Everyone brings clothes, accessories and other items still in good shape that they are no longer using.

Everyone looks through everyone else’s stuff and takes what they want at no charge (some ambitious sorts have large-scale clothing swaps that are fundraisers with a cover charge that goes to a local shelter or something like that, but all items are still free for the takin).

Then whatever’s left at the end of the swap gets donated to a charitable org like Good Will, United Way or charity thrift stores, women’s shelters, places like that.

Anecdotal history embedded with ideas for how you might want to do your own

The format of the swaps among my friends has changed since the early days. We used to start out by sitting in a circle with our pile of soon-to-be-ex-clothes in front of us. We’d take turns holding up a special item, giving a pitch for it or telling its story, then anyone who was interested would shout out, and whoever spoke up got to try it on. We’d do this for awhile and then at some point we’d be getting antsy so we’d put everything in the middle of the room and dig in. We often included a fashion show at the end - model your best find.

Over the years, our clothing swaps have become much more casual, people just empty their bags of clothes, boxes of shoes, purses, hats, whatever into the middle of the room and then we rummage. It’s surprisingly civil, rarely is there an impasse. We don’t really have a format for settling disputes, there just don’t seem to be any - the fact that we keep it among friends and friends of friends helps.

Even if two people both want the same item, there’s usually a private deal that is struck, such as: you take it and if you don’t wear it or you get tired of it, let me know and I’ll take it. Or those same two might find themselves in competition for another item later on, so a compromise can be reached where each person gets one of the sought after items. Or sometimes you really want something, but when you see how great it looks on someone else, you just think: yeah, she should really have that. It has evolved into a really supportive environment.

Here’s what’s so great about clothing swaps:

+ Refresh your wardrobe without spending a dime.

+ Outwit materialism and corporate greed by constantly updating your look without supporting the fashion industry credo of: buy new, buy often, discard.

+ Donate to worthy causes - a couple times we separated clothes suitable for an office environment and donated those items to a charity that helps poor women get jobs, and more recently several garbage bags full of clothes, towels, shoes, hats etc was hauled off to a clothing drive for Katrina refugees.

+ Have fun with fashion, take risks - took something that you really wanted to work for you, but it just didn’t? So what, no loss, take it to the next swap and give someone else a chance.

+ Get rid of excess clutter in a really fun way

+ There is also the environmental angle… this is recycling! What is recycling if not re-using things instead of throwing them away?

+ In most cases, clothing swap items are one-of-a-kind, so you won’t go to an art opening and see three other women wearing the exact same shirt.

+ And finally, hopefully, via swapping, a group of women can discover together that ‘who looks good in what’ is not dictated by who’s the skinniest or the tallest or has the best, ahem, attributes. There is an item of clothing that’s right for everyone.

This is never more evident than when you have clothes from different eras - that 50s dress tailored to be va-va voom on someone with curves might make a thin woman look like she’s underfed and sickly. An 80s zebra striped mini-skirt might look best on someone who’s 5-foot-2. A really flat-chested gal might be the only one who can work a tiny tank top from the 70s.

Of course you can’t guarantee that self-doubt and negative body image issues will magically vanish, but I like to think it takes a little chip out of it. There’s nothing quite like admitting that you don’t like the way your upper arms flap, and having a roomful of female friends all shout, “What are you? Nuts? You have great arms! You’re crazy!” to make your day.

Aftermath

It is strangely rewarding to run into someone out at an event who’s sporting something that you used to own and love.

You might still have fond memories of wearing that particular sweater or hat, but seeing it on someone else who is giving it new life can feel really great. I can’t explain why that is so satisfying but it is.

You can’t stop yourself from squealing, “That used to be mine! It looks so good on you!”

The reverse is almost as good; seeing someone who provided you with the item you’re wearing, and you just have to elbow them knowingly and say, “Like my dress?” Wink, wink, it’s a secret you share.

You are never going to have any of those feelings buying something new from a store.

Practical tips for hosting your own clothing swap

* Invite your friends & ask your friends to invite their friends

* About 10-15 people is the goal - aim for all shapes & sizes

* For the small scale swap, keep it to girls only, it’s not conducive to feeling relaxed about trying on clothes if there’s a man in the room. (For the men reading this, organize your own all-boys swap, it might be a lot more fun than you think.)

* If you are hosting the swap at your house, make sure you have at least two full-length mirrors available

* For those of us who are modest, make sure there are other rooms available to dress and undress. If this isn’t possible, remind people they can wear a body suit or bathing suit underneath their clothing if they wish.

* Clothes swaps can be seasonal, but they don’t have to be: the best clothes swaps have clothing from all seasons.

* Provide some snacks and beverages, you want your guests to stay hydrated and have the fuel they need to swap, I have never been to a swap that lasted less than 3 hours.

* Make sure you have some large bags for transporting the goods to the donation site.

* Line up a couple drivers ahead of time, it’s a lot less painless if you take care of the leftovers right away.

* Call ahead to the donation site to let them know a big donation is on its way, some places will send you to a warehouse location instead of the storefront if you have more than a couple bags’ worth.

Good luck and please tell us how it goes!

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I got some of the ‘practical tips’ from an article by Marcia Passos Duffy on lifeorganizers.com

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